He was outside. Walking.

Under normal circumstances, this would have been more significant to Ville, but his rare willingness to get out of the apartment was overshadowed by Vilja. Yesterday's video call only served to intensify his, and her, confusion. They had discussed at length their adolescences, and their present day habits, and came to no resolutions.

He figured getting fresh air and seeing familiar yet not often sought scenery would do his brain good. He was trying to prevent himself from going completely mad with charting out his schedule, writing down every possible time he should have seen Vilja in public. That was undesirable, but mentally wondering about it was not. He wanted his wandering to assist in his meditation.

He reviewed the situation, once again, for at least the fortieth time today. There was still a lingering instinct that Vilja and himself were connected. At this point, the instinct wasn't so irrational, after all; they shared a surname and similar forenames, they looked as if the same person was split into male and female, they had the same neglectful parents and lived in the same places growing up while somehow never meeting. Now, they had solidified that they live in the same area, shop at the same stores, and continue to evade each other.

Sometimes he doubted if Vilja was real. Maybe he was hallucinating, though he had never heard of any hallucinatory disorders in his family history.

There was only one nerve wracking solution to this and she had offered it first: an in-person meeting, preferably one where other people, like a store clerk, had to interact with her as well. Ville was less hesitant about meeting her now after yesterday's video call, but he still wasn't ready.

He found himself drifting into the local ice cream shop. He hadn't been there in over a year. He ordered a chocolate scoop and continued on his way.

He tasted his ice cream. An idea fluttered through his mind, "I should go and see Vilja's house." No, that was a terrible plan. What if she was there? He knew he was going to have to meet her eventually, but please, not today.

He stopped and sat down on a bench in the market square. He pulled out his phone to watch a meme compilation. Annoyingly, an ad managed to breach his adblocker. It was a commercial for an astrology website. It declared that today, May 21st, marked the beginning of the Sun in Gemini, the twins.

The twins. He felt his face flush.

What irony. There was no way he wasn't in a deterministic universe. He locked his phone, abruptly got up and made his way back home. Guess it was time to go mad.

---


By Adaline Guerra